It’s been said that public speaking is the most common fear among adults. Galloping in at a close second has to be the fear of turning into our parents.

There’s a very funny television advertising campaign that shows young adults doing things we think only “old” people do—arriving to appointments hours early, always packing a sandwich and a sweater when leaving the house, and telling strangers about their medical conditions. And there are many more “old people” behaviors that could be added to that list.

For my husband, it’s napping. He takes naps all the time but claims he never does. And I can tell you, if he’s in the recliner . . . he’s taking a nap. There’s no such thing as watching TV with your eyes closed. And the scary thing is, his dad did the same thing. I know this for a fact because my father-in-law lived with us for a couple of years. Why he came to live with us is another story that has to do with a cane, a nurse, and a bad attitude.

So, my father-in-law was living with us. Every day, without fail, he would fall asleep, sitting up on the couch. And without fail, when my husband would try to wake him up, he’d argue and say he wasn’t sleeping! Which, as you know, is the same thing my husband says to me! Immediately, I wonder, what other things will my husband do that his dad did? Even though my father-in-law was very cantankerous, he had a great sense of humor. We would get to laughing so hard at something he said tears would stream down our cheeks.

My husband will tell you that I’m turning into my mom. My mom is a planner. For every family visit, trip, or outing, she would have every hour planned out well in advance. I remember one girl’s trip in particular . . . my mom had organized a cruise to the Bahamas for me, my daughter, my niece, and her, and we were going to stay at an all-inclusive resort.

The gift of the trip was so generous, and we were all very excited. Being on the ship was fun—we even posed for the souvenir photo when we boarded. The ship’s itinerary was set, so I can’t blame Mom for the moments that felt like we were being led around like a herd of cattle. But when we arrived at the island resort, we hit the ground running. Since it was all-inclusive, Mom had signed us up for everything—bike riding, tennis lessons, dance classes, snorkeling, wind surfing, and dinner reservations every night. The girls and I were exhausted . . . we couldn’t begin to keep up with Grandma!

Flash forward. My mom is now retired, and my father-in-law passed away. I easily stepped in to take over the family planning, and my husband quickly took over the spot on the couch. I say he’s a couch potato, while he says I’m a control freak.

When it comes to adopting our parent’s style, who gets to choose the desirable and the undesirable?

Maybe nobody has a choice—maybe it’s inevitable—and we should just accept that we are becoming our parents.