BEST LIFE

When Does It Start?

Living your best life. When does it start?

Is it something that’s going to happen?

For years, I thought that sometime in the future, all the boring, difficult, and trying things in my life would disappear and I would have the things that would make me happy.

Thinking back, most of the planning and dreaming I did was about how things could make life better. Some people dream of winning the lottery or the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. Others think moving to a new city or town is the answer. I did . . . I’ve thought about all those things.

When I was about 12, I remember my brothers started digging a big hole in our backyard. We all thought that if only we had a swimming pool, then we would be happy. The pool never happened, but it shows you that this idea that things bring you happiness is something longstanding. I suppose all kids think this way. Back then it was so important to be wearing the right clothes, the right hairstyle, and to be part of the right social group.    Since we were teenagers we’ve wanted what everyone else has. 

Early in our marriage, many of our discussions contained the words “If only . . .  then . . . ”  If only we had a bigger house, then the kids could have a playroom. If only we had a new car, then we could take fun family road trips.  

It’s a little embarrassing to admit that this line of thinking continued even after the kids moved out. My husband will say the reason is that the kids may be out of the house, but we are still supporting them while they’re off at college. He calls it “on the books.” He says, “If only they were off the books, then we could have the things we want.”

This got me thinking . . . or re-thinking . . . about the idea that things will make me happy. We acquired a lot of things over the years. We did get that swimming pool, and we did love it—for a while—and then it became just one more thing that had to be cared for and maintained. Same for the water ski boat, all kinds of fancy sports equipment, and the convertible sports car. With having things comes the responsibility of taking care of them—which often does not bring happiness!  

There must be a happy place of just having the right number of things . . . right? It lies somewhere between the Taj Mahal and one of my husband's favorite  Chris Farley sayings, “Living in a box down by the river.”

But maybe happiness has nothing to do with things at all.

Commercials, social media, and all kinds of other influences tell us every day that we need things. I had an idea a while ago—cleaning out your proverbial closets—and I invite you to give it a try. Take an inventory of your things and note all the things you haven’t used in six months, or even a year, and get rid of them! Don’t forget to donate! I’ve been doing this, and it feels great. For me, it brings a feeling of relief of not having so many things lurking behind closed doors.

This led to my next “Aha!” moment. Could it be that happiness is a choice? I say YES! I think I may have figured it out. Some days may be boring and difficult, but adding more things is not the answer.

Choosing to be in the moment and actively being thankful for what we have—not the things we don’t have—is the way to live our best life.

Photo by Jovyn Chamb on Unsplash