BROKEN RECORD
But...I'm the one who needs to hear it again.
“Oh yes, I remember.” “So you said.” “You told me last week.”
That was how a recent conversation went with a friend. And since I have no recollection AT ALL of our previous conversation, I’m wondering if I’m losing my mind … or is she?
Maybe I’m overly concerned with forgetting things. And is losing your mind certain for everyone of a certain age? And exactly what age is that? And will I know it when I get there? Since the kids have flown the nest, the days just roll together, with no way to slow them down or even keep track! Gone is the start of the school year, and gone are summer breaks, sports tournaments, and graduations.
Recently, the only dates on my calendar have been for weddings and funerals. Both of my children are still not married. You’ll note that I’m intentionally using the term “not married.” I heard somewhere that someone who is not married is that way by choice, rather than them belonging to the class of the unmarried, which sounds like an unfortunate place to be.
Another thing that has happened since the kids have flown the nest is that my husband and I are searching for ways to spend time together. Attending the weddings of our friends’ kids has been a fun way to do that. Attending funerals for their parents has been a different kind of experience, not to mention that it’s a reminder that not only are we getting older, but our parents are getting older too.
However, something that both experiences have in common is the funny stories that are shared. I’m remembering the time my cousin Sue lost her car in the mall parking lot, and her dad, thinking the car was stolen, bought her a new car so she could get home from work … only to discover the lost car the next day when the parking lot had emptied overnight. Or the time our friend Joe , the morning after his bachelor party, rushed out—BUCK NAKED—and hopped on the tractor to mow the grass before the wedding guests arrived. Needless to say, it must have been later than he thought, or the wedding guests were arriving early. Either way, everyone had a good laugh.
The thing is, in those moments, nobody is concerned that they are losing their mind or that they may have told the story before. Like a fish tale, the story gets better and better with each telling, and a reassuring and familiar feeling washes over us all, reminding us that everything’s going to be okay.
It’s like when my husband plays the same Sugar Ray song for the umpteenth time to get himself pumped up and ready to start the day. Or he recounts his golf game, which to me sounds like a story on repeat that he swears is vastly different each time. Or when I sit with a friend over coffee and talk about my son’s new business or my daughter’s new horse. I don’t hesitate or wonder if I’ve told the story before. Because I’m the one who needs to hear it again.
This may not answer the question of whether I’m losing my mind … but I’m okay with sounding like a broken record.
Sure - we can be “forgetful” but also, when something happens that we want to share with our friends, we tend to tell stories on repeat for a while. I’m forever starting out with, “Was it you I was having this conversation with the other day…?” Because I can’t always keep straight who I’ve seen and spoken with since “the thing” happened. I’m also a friend who will question if you managed to tell me the “whole” story the first time, so I’ll say - “You’d better tell me again - just you remind me…” and then jump in with you half way through remembering the details 🤣. But I think the important part is, if a story is important to my friend, it is then important to me that I understand the details - so I don’t mind hearing it again 💜