DAILY GRATITUDE
The way I did it.
I said it out loud.
For one week, rather than thinking about what I was grateful for, I said it out loud. Every morning, before leaving the house for work, going to meetings, or running errands, I stopped and said my thoughts out loud. This experiment was to put to the test my belief, and constant advice to others, in the power of positive affirmation. Would starting each day in this way change how I was feeling? I was going to find out.
Recently, my days have felt like a constant climb to nowhere. An endless series of emails, meetings, phone calls, and putting out small fires … set that on repeat. Nothing much different was happening. I think I was just feeling bored or tired, and I started to notice that my thoughts kept drifting to the worst possible scenarios.
When my kids didn’t answer my calls and texts, my mind immediately went to … car crash! Were they not calling back because they were in a horrible accident?
When I had nothing on my social calendar, I thought, “My friends must be mad at me. What did I do?”
When the washing machine made a funny noise, I announced to my husband, “We better not go out to dinner. We’re sure to need the money to buy a new washing machine.”
My rational mind knew that none of that was true, and yet I couldn’t seem to help myself.
The first morning, I felt a little silly. Remember that skit on Saturday Night Live when Al Franken created the character Stuart Smalley? Stuart would stand in front of the mirror and recite, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Was I being a pathetic Stuart Smalley?
On the second day, I posted pictures of some of my favorite things on my bathroom mirror to prompt the affirmations. Florida songbirds … I’m enamored by them! A photo of my recent bike ride along the ocean. I’m so happy to be back on my bike again. My view of the garden waterfall from my office window. I have a beautiful place to work.
On the third day, I added notes and pictures of things I am looking forward to this week, this month, and this year. This week, I was having lunch with a friend who had just returned from a month-long trip to Europe. I couldn’t wait to hear about it. A month … wow! Although I won’t be spending a month in Europe, this month I am going to take my first professional golf lesson. I’m not sure if I hope I’m good at it or terrible at it. We’ll see. This year, our daughter and son-in-law will celebrate their first wedding anniversary, and our granddaughter will turn one year old. We have a trip to California planned to celebrate her birthday, and I’m researching fun anniversary gifts to send to Pennsylvania.
However, it wasn’t a perfect week. I snapped at my husband a time or two. He calls those moments my passive aggressiveness. If our teenagers responded the way I did, we would have called them smart asses.
But when I took an honest look back, I did feel a little lighter throughout the week. I didn’t scroll my Facebook friends to see what they were doing without me. I didn’t check my phone all day long to see if there were replies to my texts. Reminding myself—out loud—about good things kept my irrational thoughts from creeping in.
The way I did it. Daily gratitude.
This is part of what I’m calling Expeditionvision—my quest to find what a meaningful life looks like. One experiment per week: Possible strategies for a happier life. Trying things on purpose and paying attention to what happens. I’m not offering advice or giving instructions. I’m just sharing the way I did it. If there’s something that you’ve been wanting to try—but haven’t—I’d love to hear about it. I’m open to reader suggestions for future experiments.
Field Notes: For Paid Subscribers
Paid subscribers, I’ve added a short field notes section below with what surprised me the most, what I didn’t expect, what I might do next time, and things I’m still working on.