EASY-BAKE

And other uses for a light bulb...

We needed a light bulb, so we took one out of the desk lamp. Nobody sat at the desk anyway ... the kids preferred to do homework at the kitchen table. It would be months before anyone even realized that the bulb was gone.

Our daughter was eager to test out her new present, an Easy-Bake oven, and it didn’t come with the required bulb. The package directions promised you could bake a cake in a mere eight minutes.

This wasn’t our first experience of cooking with a light bulb. Her brother had a version of the oven that turned blue and green sugary goo into gummy snakes and frogs that you could eat. They both got hours of enjoyment from it, and I ate some barely edible concoctions once the mixes that were included with the toys ran out.

But then new lightbulbs came along and there were no more cakes or gummy snakes. First, the incandescent bulbs were replaced by fluorescents, which didn’t make sense. The bulbs were designed to look the same, but the light was gross. For years, they had been telling us that fluorescent lighting in office buildings made everyone depressed. Why would we want to put them in our homes? Fairly quickly, the fluorescents gave way to LED versions, with the guarantee of saving energy and an astounding ten years of use. Considering how much they cost, they had better last for ten years!

My husband, a very stubborn convert, spent hours searching for incandescent bulbs and stocking up. When there were no more regular bulbs to be found and we were forced to buy the new kind, he insisted that we put a sticky note on the package with the date of purchase. He vowed to return the bulb, and maybe even start a class action lawsuit if it burned out before the promised 10-year guarantee. The LED bulbs expired with little fanfare—no returns and no lawsuits. I guess we just forgot about it. And returning anything just takes so much effort.

 I’ve now moved on to a different kind of light—infrared with red light. Have you heard about this pairing? The suggested benefits of exposure include weight loss, reduced joint pain, improved sleep quality, memory boost, and improved vision. Do I sound like an infomercial? I’m not selling anything so don’t look for an affiliate link … but I haven’t been this excited about anti-aging since I began formulating my face cream.

 Move aside, Gloria Swanson. Mr. DeMille … I’m ready for my close-up!

Three months ago, I bought an infrared sauna and quickly added a visible red light panel. As you know, I’m a huge fan of time blocking. Since the day it was installed, I’ve been sitting inside my outhouse-sized wooden sauna three times a week. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I feel great! No more aching bones when I get out of bed in the morning, and I think my shoulder and knee are a little less swollen. My friend Laura says I won’t see the anti-wrinkle results that are touted about the red light, but I still have hope!

We may be talking about a new kind of light, but some things have stayed the same. Before I get in my sauna, I stick a note on the microwave reminding my husband not to nuke his morning coffee, or the breaker will pop. And he, remembering how much fun our kids had with their ovens, asks,

“How long do you plan to sit in the Easy-Bake?

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