KEYS, WALLET, PHONE

And Other Morning Mantras

Keys, wallet, phone … keys, wallet, phone—it’s my husband’s morning mantra.

He recites it out loud, announcing his “must haves” before leaving the house. He does carry a bag, but his keys, wallet, and phone are pocket items, more likely to be removed each night and then forgotten the next morning.

When my husband and I first got married, he carried a pager that his company issued to him, and I remember thinking he must be important. I thought pagers were only carried by drug dealers and ER doctors. Depending on where you happen to be in life, both are very important. I’m fairly certain he wasn’t a drug dealer or an ER doctor, but he was definitely important. When he received a page, he would hunt for the nearest pay phone, pull over to the side of the street, and call his office. Speaking of which, I saw a payphone booth the other day … it looked sad and lonely, perched on a corner that looked equally sad and lonely.

Fast forward 20 years, and now everyone has a cell phone. We’ve made so much progress that actually talking to one another on the phone has become passé. We text. I think I’ve told you of my disdain for emojis. I feel like I’m forced to use them because, otherwise, the recipient will assign a mood to my text. I’m usually short when texting—blame it on fat thumbs, poor eyesight, impatience. If I don’t use an emoji, I routinely get a “what’s the matter” response, which requires a second and much longer text, so I use emojis.

Maybe I’m the one who has it easier. I leave all my “must haves” in my purse, although leaving my phone at home for the day wouldn’t really bother me. I have a love/hate relationship with it. The problem is everyone else! People sure get mad at you when you don’t reply to their text or answer the phone right away. Since when did every communication warrant such importance?

If you had to estimate how many of your texts were actually important, what percentage do you think that would be? 10%? A little more? A little less? Until recently, my guess would have been a little less. However, my kids are coming home for a visit soon—both of them!— I don’t need to insert my favorite emoji for you to guess my mood.

Since I’ve posed the question about the reality of texting importance, I thought I would look back at my own texts. Imagine my shock to discover that I rated the majority of them as important! So important … flight numbers, dates, and times of arrivals, appointments, and people to see.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to eat crow and admit that I was wrong. You were right—and you know who you are—I’ll stop grumbling and get with the program. I might even activate that new phone that’s been sitting in the box since Christmas. It really comes down to something else I’m sure I’ve told you. I can go an entire day without talking to anyone … obviously the dog doesn’t count … and that seems as sad and lonely as that old phone booth.

Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Starting tomorrow, my morning mantra is keys, wallet … PHONE!

Photo by Dim Hou on Unsplash