LET THEM EAT BUGS

And Other Things You Learn When Fact Checking

Jul 15, 2023

Every family has one. A crazy Uncle Jim, who wore his plaid polyester pant suit well into the nineties. Or a crazy Uncle George who can only converse with sports analogies.

In my family, we have crazy Uncle Bob. Growing up, he was our favorite uncle. Uncle Bob hung out with us, took us places, and didn’t treat us like little kids.

One of his favorite things to do was try to shock and amaze us. I will never forget one afternoon spent around the swimming pool at Grandma’s condo. My mom, brothers, and I were recent transplants to Florida from Indiana, so we were still curious about all the lizards! If you don’t know this, lizards are everywhere in Florida.

On that day, we were watching them run across the hot pool deck and in and out of the bushes. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, Uncle Bob picked up a lizard and stuck it on his outstretched tongue. He held it there long enough to make sure we all saw it—and then he made an animated gulping sound! We all leaped to our feet in amazement. He was so pleased with our reaction that he reached for a handful of ants, and then a cricket, and gulped them all down, saying, “Tastes like chicken.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent double-dog daring each other, like the scene from the movie A Christmas Story, when one of the boys double-dog dared another to lick a frozen flag pole. I’m pretty sure at least one of my brothers ate a bug or two, and I’m almost positive that I did not. I feel the same way now as I did then—I don’t eat bugs. But … have you heard? There’s a new protein source coming soon to a restaurant near you.

BUGS

Apparently, bugs outnumber the people on the planet in a big way. According to the book Bugged: The Insects That Rule the World and the People Obsessed with Them by David MacNeal, there are 1.4 billion insects for each one of us! That may have been the motivator of this latest plan—reduce the bug population by eating them! This has me wondering … Will there be bug wranglers? Bug farmers? And does bug farming count as part of the Farm-to-Table movement?! And if you grow a bug, is it then genetically modified? We all know GMO is bad.

Then, my husband reminds me of a documentary we watched about the Food and Drug Administration and the legality of bugs in food. “We’ve all been eating bugs for years,” my husband claims. I kind of remember that documentary, but I fact checked him anyway … only to find out … it’s true! Gross!

The FDA calls them “food defects” rather than what they are—dismembered creatures, poop, and hair. I may never eat one of my favorite lunches again—an apple slathered with peanut butter. My fact checking led me to this unwelcome factoid: “Peanut butter is one of the most controlled food items on the FDA list, yet it contains an average of one or more rodent hairs and 30 (or so) insect fragments per three ounces!”

All this fact checking can get to be a little overwhelming. One thing leads to another, and another, and another. And then I remember one of my favorite sayings … Ignorance is Bliss. There are some things I just don’t want to know. So bug wranglers and bug farmers—more power to you! I won’t be making a reservation at Bugs-R-Us anytime soon, but on your behalf, I’ll say:

“Let them eat bugs!”