LIFE IS GOOD

Choices...If you don't make them, they will be made for you!

The only option was valet parking, and I hate valet parking.

As I waited in the long line of cars, I grabbed a wipe and began to clean the door handles and dashboard. It always amazes me how dirty things can get. But this was my “work” truck, after all, and work trucks get dirty, right? I’m not sure why I call it that; it’s not like I work on a farm. In fact, I don’t even drive to the farm anymore now that our daughter and her horses have moved away. I hardly drive it at all, so why is this truck so dirty?! And why was I concerned about cleaning it for the valet?

Now that our house is sans kids, I’m noticing how dirty things are all around me. Was it always this much work to keep the counters clean, the dishes washed, and the laundry done? And don’t get me started on the windows and bathtub! We don’t even use the bathtub! So why is it dirty?

Is this evidence of another failure of my motherhood? Was my family living in filth, and I was too busy to notice? Gosh, I hope not. Or is this evidence that I’ve turned into a curmudgeon?

Our neighborhood has one. You know, the neighbor who sends letters anonymously—by regular mail no less—complaining about an unkempt lawn or too many vehicles in the drive. At any given moment, I am able to reel off a list of things my husband should do … and things he hasn’t done. My husband would say that, yes, I am a curmudgeon.

Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

It’s springtime in Florida—time to get the convertible out of the garage, open the windows, and clear off the dust. It’s also when I have my “Aha” moment. I don’t want to do the spring cleaning! Not the metaphorical spring cleaning. I’ve been fighting change and writing about it since the kids left the nest. I have been hanging on to my old life and my identity as MOM. I’ve been complaining about being surrounded by old, broken stuff but not wanting to replace it because each item holds a memory.

Perhaps the worst revelation of my “Aha” moment is that I’ve been holding myself back, making excuses, blaming others, and waiting for Fabio to ride in on a white horse and fix things. I’ve stopped driving the truck, and I’ve given the keys to the valet attendant!

The warm and fuzzy feelings of nostalgia when writing my stories have helped. I no longer fear that I’ll forget my old life. And I’m feeling okay about the reality that I won’t have my daughter and her horses and my son and his wakeboard boat in my daily life anymore. At least not like it was when they were teenagers.

You know that saying about choices? It goes something like: If you don’t make them, they will be made for you. I think that adage usually suggests that bad things will happen. This is absolutely true for lifestyle choices like drinking too much and eating fried food. But for me, there are some really exciting things happening. This year, we will have two weddings and our first grandchild, and I’m going to Africa!

Abraham Lincoln famously said, “Good things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” My kids are hustling, and Life is good.