NEW CAN BE GOOD
Lessons Learned From a Roller Coaster
The view from the balcony could be reminiscent of the cover of a Harlequin romance novel. The gentle waves of a blue-green ocean, lapping at the end of a white, sandy beach. I would sit in the comfy cushions of the chaise lounge, hypnotized by the sound of palm trees blowing in the wind, interrupted only by the faint calls of seabirds as they hovered almost motionless in the azure blue sky. In my mind, this picture represents the ultimate scene for a day of relaxation.
If I could only get to that day … I could relax, re-set, and re-charge.
In reality, the most relaxing days I think I’ve ever had were the five days I spent in the hospital after the emergency C-section delivery of my son. Was the first thing about that sentence that shocked you was that I spent five days in the hospital? And not the fact that I had an emergency, life-threatening cesarean section? I KNOW! Back then, they didn’t toss you out when your insurance ran out.
What I remember about those five days is not having to be responsible for anything. I didn’t even have to get out of bed to pee! Too much information? You know that famous saying, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” I knew nothing about how things were supposed to go. I had never been in the hospital, and I had just been presented with a purply and pink screaming baby boy. I should have been scared to death!
Maybe it was the aftereffects of the general anesthesia, but the most incredible thing was that I remember feeling safe, comfortable, and relaxed like never before.
Day six began a thirty-year roller coaster ride on Kingda Ka. Just in case you don’t know, Kingda Ka, which is located in New Jersey, is the tallest roller coaster in the world and the fastest in the U.S. I’ve told you about my love of roller coasters, and I’ve organized thirty years of marriage and parenting as if riding on one. I’ve loved it! My type A personality appreciated that every day was planned, scheduled, and pre-determined … and that I made myself responsible for everything!
Now that my nest is empty and the roller coaster has been taken out of service, I’m experiencing paralysis by analysis. I’m sure I’ve told you that I can’t seem to shake it! Just like the view from the balcony on the Harlequin romance novel cover represents my ideal of the perfect spot to relax, I’m now picturing a white horse in full gallop set against the brilliant orange of a desert sunset with a parchment scroll tied to his billowing mane. This scroll holds the instructions for what’s coming next.
All my researching, investigating, and soul searching have introduced me to so many wonderful and knowledgeable people. Each person offers practical, actionable suggestions. But … and I’ve also said this before … nobody can do it for me. So, I’m going to try embracing another recent suggestion.
You can say it along with me if you need this affirmation, too—New Can Be Good.
