One of my first jobs was at a fast-food restaurant called Sister’s Chicken and Biscuits. The uniform consisted of ridiculous brown polyester pants, a matching brown hat, and a bright orange shirt. My job was to stand at the register and take orders. That went on until closing time. After the last sandwich slid down the chute and all the customers received their orders, I then had to clean up. This job was to clean the dining room, which included refilling the salt and pepper shakers.
Have you noticed that there are no salt and pepper shakers on restaurant tables anymore? Where did they go? I admit to stealing a set or two when I was in college. We never seemed to have any salt and pepper at our apartment, but there is no way ALL the salt and pepper shakers in the United States have been stolen. I think it’s a conspiracy started by the grinder guy.
You know the guy—just as your plates are set down, he arrives tableside with a set of salt and pepper grinders the size of staircase balustrades, presenting them as if they were gold and giving his best imitation of Vanna White. Apparently, Himalayan Sea salt and three responsibly sourced varieties of peppercorns are far superior and warrant presentation. I think he is just vying for a tip. And this leads me to a question: Do you add his tip onto the check? Or are you supposed to tip him at the time of grinding? He should wear a belt so that we can tuck in the singles. Too Chippendales? I like it.
Before even tasting the food, we have to make this crucial decision. My husband always adds salt to his food, which makes me crazy, of course. For one thing, he’s not supposed to eat salt—he takes blood pressure medicine. And the second thing is that he makes this face … a cross between impatience and confusion … as he gestures at the grinder guy. There is something weird about the whole process.
What’s next? A food taster? Are we to expect the treatment of the kings and queens of yore with our dining experience? Someone to taste the food for us prior to the grinder guy’s appearance at the table? Maybe that is exactly what we need because it’s nearly impossible to taste your food yourself while the grinder guy is brandishing his implements over your head. The other choice is motioning for him to wait, grinders at the ready, while awkwardly shoving a bite into your mouth (which most certainly will burn) and chewing while everyone watches and waits for your reaction. And that is something I’d definitely like to avoid.
At that moment, having someone taste your food for you seems like a rational expectation. But after the pepper dust settles, I wonder if maybe we could just ask the restaurants to put the shakers back on the table. I volunteer to start the petition.
You can call me old-fashioned, sentimental even, but I think I would much rather just ask my tablemates to “please pass the salt.”
I remember when the family restaurant I worked in as a teen introduced the Pepper Grinder. I don’t think we ever upgraded to salt grinders, but we started doing Prime Rib dinners on Saturday Nights, so we would have to come back out after delivering the dinners to offer fresh ground pepper. It seemed silly at first, but that’s when I first developed a taste for fresh ground pepper on my salads. The flavor really is better! I’m just surprised people aren’t committing homicides with them. They always kinda feel like a weapon when you pick them up 🤣