REPLACED

Is Technology Really Better?

You’re going to think it won’t happen to you—you’ll think things will be different. Well, I can tell you—they won’t. Between the ages of fourteen and twenty-two, your children will treat you like you are a complete imbecile.

I recommend getting a dog . . . then at least somebody will have faith in you.

On a recent road trip, I was given the job of navigator. So I did what all good navigators do. I got a map. Not just any map. I made an appointment with my AAA trip advisor and sat across the desk listening to her suggested route and the best places to stop along the way. I pre-folded my map so it would open effortlessly. I was not going to be humiliated by an out-of-control map!

Departure day started off very well. My experience in packing the truck was appreciated. Score one for Mom! We settled into our seats. I retrieved my carefully folded map and then heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Proceed to the route.”

“What was that?” I asked in a casual way.

My daughter scoffed and replied, “We’ll be using the GPS.”

I had been replaced.

This wasn’t a new occurrence . . . being replaced, I mean. For several years, any answers or advice had to be validated by Google. No sooner had the words left my mouth than the fingers were flying, “Just to make sure.”

I’ve been told that there’s no need to know the answers when you can just look them up in an instant. I must bite my tongue in order not to suggest consulting a library or an encyclopedia. The first time I mentioned a library, I was told, “Don’t be that old person who isn’t good with technology.”

I vowed then, and I remind myself now, that I will not be that person. Secretly, I’m more upset about being called an old person. It helps to know that, in their minds anyway, old is anyone above the age of 30.

Right now, you may be thinking that your kids are different. And I get it! I long for the days when my kids asked questions and believed my answers. But I’m telling you . . . it will do you no good to point out that it was you—not Google—that successfully got them to where they are now. It was you who taught them basically everything. That discussion opens a rabbit hole that somehow always ends with your children having retaught themselves because the things you taught them were wrong. I say, don’t go there. You are going to be tempted to have this conversation, but believe me, it won’t work. They will win.

Just resign yourself to five to seven years of your children thinking they are smarter than you are. You can use this time to your advantage by not fighting it. Let them do it! Whatever IT may be—they think they can do it better anyway. So, take a break and put your feet up . . . you’ve earned it. Keep in mind that just about the time you’ve gotten used to enjoying your ignorant bliss, or your child turns twenty-five (whichever comes first), your children will call you in a panic asking a myriad of questions, from mundane cooking tips to life-changing relationships and employment advice.

Fight the urge to say, “I told you so,” or something clever along those lines. Don’t try to make up for lost time by turning every conversation into a teachable moment. You’ve got this; you are ready.

And the best thing is that your children now realize that you can’t be replaced.

Photo by Thomas Kinto on Unsplash