“Fifty years!”
I shouted this to the baker as I stood across the glass display case, ordering the cake for my grandparents’ wedding anniversary. After flipping through several pages of possible cakes, we settled on a two-tiered white cake with yellow icing. The yellow looked slightly more edible than the gold leaf frosting that the baker suggested.
Every other decoration was gold in honor of their “golden anniversary.” We had secured the clubhouse in their neighborhood for the special event. All six of their children … my mom, aunts and uncles … and several grandchildren, including my brothers and I, were there to celebrate. It was a great party, but nothing went according to plan. I know nothing went according to plan because I took charge of organizing the event, as I tend to do, and nothing went according to my vision for the event.
First, nobody liked the hotel I found, which was actually a large house that turned out not to have AC. This was before the days of Vrbo—there were no websites or reviews to consult. I booked the place sight unseen. I know … rookie mistake. Then I forgot to order silverware for the dinner, the dinner that I cooked and served, but landed flat when we had to use random forks and knives from the community kitchen. The knives were so thin and dull that it was hard to cut the Chicken Cordon Bleu, which was definitely not dry or rubbery, as one of my uncles suggested.
It’s funny the things you remember twenty years after the fact. I’ve been thinking about anniversaries because next week is our twenty-ninth! Twenty-nine years is perhaps not as celebration-worthy as fifty years. We aren’t going to have a family party, but we feel like we should do something.
This year … just like all the years before … it has snuck up on us. Maybe it’s because our anniversary is in the summer, and time flies by then. Somehow, our routine for years has been to be surprised that another year has gone by. And this year is no different. With only one week to figure out something, we still haven’t made any plans.
To be honest, for the past few years, I’ve been thinking that we should have established a better routine. I wish we were like some of the couples we know who exchange gifts of jewelry or take vacations together. But over-the-top gift giving has never been our style. Early on, we decided on practical gift giving, and often we didn’t exchange gifts when money was tight … and money was always tight. The kids always needed something big—sports equipment, car repairs, and college. It never seemed like a good time for a bespoke piece of jewelry or a fancy trip to Europe.
But the kids have been out of the nest and taking care of themselves financially for years. In light of my tendency to take charge of all the plans, and for things to go awry (note grandparents’ 50th anniversary), I know that if we are going to change an almost thirty-year-old routine, we will have to do it together. So, I’ve suggested to my husband that he should make the plans for this year, and I would make the plans for next year. Yes, you’re right … that’s still taking charge. Secretly, I have a fabulous trip I’d love to take for our thirtieth, and obviously, it won’t be easy for me to give up control.
He will probably take me golfing this anniversary. The caveat to this new routine is that no matter what, when the other is in charge of the anniversary …
We have to say, “Yes.”
It was a great 50th and I can’t believe you did all that by yourself! You are stinkin AMAZING!