TAKE TO THE BED
Advice Worth Taking
He sat down right in the middle of the crosswalk.
The sound of the huge garbage truck was just too much for him. He shut down and couldn’t move. I’m sure the driver of the truck got a big laugh at me as I attempted to pull my 90-pound dog out of the street. With a little cajoling and a lot of pulling, we finally made it to the other side.
There was nothing in the puppy training book about this situation—I had to improvise. Fortunately, I’d had a little practice. This wasn’t the first time my dog had shut down. The first time it happened was when he refused to get into the truck. He was a bit smaller then, so I could easily lift him into the back seat … where he sat frozen, refusing to look out the window. I thought all dogs liked to ride in the car. It turns out, just like kids, each dog is different. What I learned was just to wait and give him a minute to look around and gain some trust.
We have a horse that has the same feelings about traveling. When it’s time to load him into the trailer, it’s not unusual for him to shut down and hang out halfway—with hind quarters sticking out of the trailer. At 2,000 pounds, there is no pulling him in. We wait until he is ready, and we practice! With practice, both dog and horse are becoming better travelers … well, most of the time.
According to the training experts, their response is called the fight, flight, or freeze. As it turns out, I have a lot of the same fight, flight, or freeze markers. I know this because of my friend, Dr. Stella. After months of battling a lack of sleep—and I hate admitting this out loud because I was sure I was the one person that would never have to go through this—I have hot flashes and night sweats. GROSS … believe me, I know. So, I went to see Dr. Stella about some hormones. She hooked me up to a machine that confirmed I had high markers for fight, flight, or freeze. She said this was a good thing. I was just happy I scored high on the test!
My mother would tell you that she’s always known this. She says that when I was a kid, if there was anything stressful, or uncomfortable going on, I would put myself to bed. I would totally shut down and go to sleep.
There may be nothing as stressful as being a parent. Like when your two-year-old flops down on the floor of the grocery store because you won’t let him have cotton candy. You may feel like crawling into a corner, but you can’t. Or teaching your teenager to drive. We’ve all learned to bite our tongues and stay focused, even though the back seat of the car may look like a perfect place to lay down at that moment. As a parent, we power through, and solve whatever problem comes up. There’s no other choice.
Or is there?
My friend Leanne calls it “taking to the bed.” She says it with a great southern accent. Her advice for any stressful situation is “take to the bed!” It doesn’t sound the same when I say it. There is something about her southern drawl that makes her advice sound completely normal.
Our days are a little different at Casa Teague, no tantrums or driving lessons. The kids may be gone but some days are just as stressful … I think I’ll take to the bed.
