THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE
The way I did it.
I window shopped.
This experiment wasn’t the one I planned. I had been saving money for weeks before I set out on my girl’s weekend. I had a budget and was excited and ready to shop! I hadn’t been shopping anywhere but at discount department stores in ages. Shopping used to be a pastime … a hobby … something to do on a rainy day. For me, going shopping is an action verb. It’s kind of like eating a piece of chocolate cake. Shopping is dopamine. I don’t remember ever coming home empty-handed. I always found something to buy.
As I squeezed the final T-shirt into my one personal item—the amazingly small bag I was going to carry onto the airplane to avoid paying the outrageous baggage fees—I remembered that the town of Highlands, North Carolina was sure to be on our itinerary. Highlands may be one of the best shopping spots ever for a girl’s weekend. The main drag is lined with stores filled with unimagined treasures. Beautiful clothes and one-of-a-kind decorations and art pieces. With this bag, there would be no way I could bring anything back home with me. No worries, I would just ship my treasures home! Then another thought entered my mind as I forced the zipper closed. I didn’t really NEED anything.
Is that a sign of maturity or of giving up? The idea is that if you don’t need anything, then you don’t go shopping. A couple of years ago, our group of eight toyed with the idea that we should stop exchanging gifts because none of us needed anything. I never liked the idea. Can you even imagine? It’s not like we were giving each other vacuum cleaners! I have to tell you … secretly I wondered if it was my gift that pushed that notion forward. One year, I gave vintage gifts. I found a great resale shop and bought gifts for everyone. Later, I discovered that some people hate vintage. I guess you either love it or hate it! I hope my poor gift giving wasn’t the reason. Gifts from my girlfriends are some of my favorite things! It’s true we all say we don’t need anything … but I enjoy giving gifts and receiving them.
Shopping together was one of the highlights of the weekend. We had fun re-enacting a rom-com movie dressing room scene. Flinging open the dressing room door and striking a pose to reveal a new outfit, each more colorful and more accessorized than the one before. One of the jewelry shop owners encouraged my friend Jules to try on a $360,000 ring! She didn’t buy it.
But a funny thing happened as we entered the third or fourth shop along Main Street, all of them filled with a different version of Lilly Pulitzer cotton and linen outfits. I realized that not only did I not need an embroidered cotton maxi dress, but I would also likely wear it only once because I gave up ironing years ago!
We had great conversations as we sat on the steps and enjoyed street musicians and treats from the chocolate shop. It wasn’t the $300 dresses or the $360,000 rings that brought us together. It was our joy of spending time together … and that is priceless.
The way I did it. The best things in life are free.
This is part of what I’m calling Expeditionvision—my quest to find what a meaningful life looks like. One experiment per week: Possible strategies for a happier life. Trying things on purpose and paying attention to what happens. I’m not offering advice or giving instructions. I’m just sharing the way I did it. If there’s something that you’ve been wanting to try—but haven’t—I’d love to hear about it. I’m open to reader suggestions for future experiments.
Field Notes: For Paid Subscribers
Paid subscribers, I’ve added a short field notes section below with what surprised me the most, what I didn’t expect, what I might do next time, and things I’m still working on.