THE ROAD NOT YET TRAVELED
And my life as a comedy...
“Lord, give me cancer now!” my husband said, pounding his fist on his chest as if he were comedian Chris Farley in a comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live.
I’ve often said he is the most dramatic member of the family—a title he’s kept through our kids’ teenage years and my hormone shifts! Amazing. This time, his overly dramatic response was to the presentation of my neatly printed Christmas travel plans.
His travel planning can best be described as something we all did in college … wait until the last minute to pack, leave the house in a whirlwind of laundry baskets and half-washed dishes, drive all night like a bullet train to get to family Christmas, and only stop for gas. The only change he has made willingly to this routine in thirty years is to stop at Buc-ee’s for a beef brisket sandwich AND gas.
On the other hand, my travel planning begins at least the week prior to departure. First, set out mini “outfit” piles to make sure not to forget jewelry and accessories. Then wrap the family Christmas gifts, shop for road trip snacks, download this year’s version of the Mel Robbins annual planning podcast with the printed and fillable workbook to complete together during the drive. Perhaps the biggest difference between his plan and mine, however, is that I prefer to drive during the day so we can sightsee along the way. This year, I uploaded the trip details to Chat GPT and printed out a suggested route that included the best dog-friendly gas stops and the times of departure to avoid traffic. This is the document I hopefully presented to my husband.
It’s hard to say which element he found most nauseating. The annual planning, with a fillable worksheet? Following Chat GPT’s route? In the end, it may have been a combination of the two. You may have already guessed which plan won—see his response above, if you’re wondering—and I’ll give you a hint. We left at 11pm! I’m not going to lie. I sulked a little. Who likes to lose? I’m sure he would like my plan if he would just try it! But as he pointed out—at least several times—he’s the one doing the bulk of the driving, and I fall asleep almost as fast as we reach the highway.
Touché.
He’s right (slight pause for stifled gag reflex). I do fall asleep in the car. There’s just something about the hum of the road. I get in the car with so much enthusiasm and ambition …. I’ll read the book for my next book club meeting! I’ll create my annual business plan! I’ll turn into a creative writing machine! How is it that what actually happens is I fall asleep, and then … poof! … 14 hours have flown by.
So, I didn’t listen to the pod cast, complete the worksheet, or churn a multitude of articles as I threatened my editor I would. But I vow to try again next time. Being trapped in a car together is an opportunity for so much more. I can feel it!
I just have to figure out how to convince my husband that it’s time to take the road not yet traveled.