THINGS MONEY CAN'T BUY
Including a fashion sense!
Organizing, relationships, cooking, hormones, and purpose.
These are five things from the top ten searches that empty nesters over the age of 40 look for on the internet. It took less than ten seconds for Chat GPT to spit them out. I had purchased a subscription to ChatGPT, thinking it must provide better information than the free version because it costs money. Right?
In truth, I’ve asked all those questions and written about them, too. I purchased bins and a label maker to get myself organized. It was fun at first, until I realized I was organizing a bunch of junk that the Goodwill wouldn’t put out under the “FREE” sign. The bins, however, did get snapped up from the end of the driveway. That is my gauge of the value of the items I am organizing—or, rather—discarding. If I put them out at the end of the driveway and they are picked up by someone other than the trashmen, that equals some good stuff. I once stood at the end of the driveway negotiating with a woman about the value of a discarded clothes dryer. I had put a note on top of the dryer that read, “Not very hot.” We stood at the end of the driveway discussing just how “not hot” the dryer was before her friend pulled her back into the car, and they drove away without the dryer. She was exhibiting a trait that I aspire to … she was …
A thoughtful consumer.
For years, I have added things to my shopping cart just because they are on sale. I found it impossible to resist the 75% off sale! Take the paisley print romper, for example. It looked so innocent and sweet with its purple and pink paisleys. It turned out to be 40% off, not the 75% off indicated in bold print on the sign—note to self, read the fine print—“Up to 75% off.” But I was sure it was the perfect thing to wear to a BBQ. A BBQ I had not been invited to, nor a BBQ that I planned to host … and in hindsight, a BBQ that I never even attended. My paisley romper purchase is just one example of a lifestyle of accumulation. Buying and buying … stuff that I didn’t need, didn’t have room for, and have forgotten about.
With that in mind, I bought a book about minimalism. Since many of my purchases surrounded my wardrobe, I zeroed in on the wardrobe advice, which suggested classic foundation pieces that could be worn strategically to create many different looks. Sounds good, right? Well, let me tell you, the suggested pieces are all offered in shades of black, white, gray, or beige. How depressing. Who would want to dress like that?
As it turns out, it’s the Californians! I know this is true because I recently took a trip to San Jose. We went to Santana Row, a posh shopping district loaded with stores like Gucci, Tiffany, and Coach. All the designer stores had armed guards posted at the front. Needless to say, we didn’t go in. But we did walk down the row of shops, stopping to admire the brightly colored cars parked along the street. I thought they were all Ferraris. My son quickly let me know that the royal blue and candy apple red cars were Lamborghinis, and the bright orange car was a McLaren. Quite a rainbow of colors compared to the flat, all cotton, white, black, and greige window displays on the opposite side of the sidewalk! Store after store, window display after window display. There were no prints and no colors … not even in the accessories department!
The excursion made me panic a bit. You see, I was in California for my son and daughter-in-law’s baby shower (yes! My first grandchild … so exciting), and I had packed a brightly colored dress with splashes of pink, blue, yellow, and purple to wear to the party. Picture a cupcake with sprinkles on top. That was my dress. I was meeting her side of the family for the first time and didn’t want to be THAT person … the airhead, the out of style MOM, and the one that everyone whispered about. I was nervous, but not so nervous that I braved the armed guards to purchase a new dress.
As it turned out, my dress was something to talk about, but not in a bad way. I was from Florida, after all! So, my fashion choices seemed to make sense to my new in-laws and their friends.
The next day, I couldn’t tell you what everyone else was wearing. Perhaps they were all in shades of greige … but it didn’t matter. What mattered were the new relationships and the friendships that began that afternoon, and the time we spent together. We didn’t want the party to end and made plans for our next get-together.
What really mattered were the things money can’t buy.
