I changed my mind.
Thirty-nine weeks! That’s how far I’ve come in my Expeditionvision—my year of trying things on purpose and seeing what they look like. I’ve launched an experiment each week, with the hope of discovering what a meaningful life looks like after the kids left the nest. When I started, I imagined that I would become healthier, happier, more adventurous, and perhaps a little wiser. I certainly didn’t expect to spend so much time thinking about my coffee, my husband, and what to make for dinner.
But here we are …
At twelve weeks, I discovered that I had been waiting for permission to enjoy my life. At twenty-six weeks, I was trying new things and discovering things to look forward to. Now, three-quarters of the way through the year, I’ve noticed something else.
I’m learning to change my mind.
Take exercise, for example. Everyone was telling me to lift weights, so I joined a gym. I dutifully marched from machine to machine, wearing my RFID bracelet and listening to music that made me want to march right back out the door. I tried listening to audiobooks while working out. That helped for a while.
But eventually, I admitted that I hated going to the gym.
Instead of giving up on getting stronger, I changed course. I put handweights and resistance bands under the coffee maker. Now, I exercise while my coffee brews. Two minutes here, five minutes there. No driving to the gym, no special clothes, and I don’t even have to brush my hair.
Rather than beating myself up for quitting, I began to change the way I thought about my experiments. Maybe the goal wasn’t to find more things to do. Maybe it was to discover which things were worth doing. That thought followed me into the kitchen, where I was trying to improve my diet and answer the eternal question, “What’s for dinner?”
I ordered a meal delivery service. Everything arrived measured, chopped, and ready to cook! I thought I was a genius until Bill asked, “Where’s the dinner?” There were no leftovers either. That was practically a dealbreaker. But the surprise wasn’t that the experiment failed. It was realizing how much I missed cooking. It wasn’t the obligation of putting dinner on the table but the pleasure of choosing a recipe, turning on music, and making something delicious. I had been trying to eliminate something from my life that I actually loved.
Other experiments opened my heart and eyes to simple delights that surround us.
A walk around my neighborhood became a concert of cicadas, birds, and rustling palm fronds. I discovered a pineapple growing in a pot in my backyard, and it may have been the most delicious pineapple ever!
I printed twenty photographs from the thousands stored on my phone. Suddenly, the pictures around my house weren’t just reminders of the years when the children were growing up. They are proof that wonderful things are happening right now.
I wrote a birthday letter to our granddaughter, Amara, and spent days trying to find something wise and meaningful to say to a one-year-old. Eventually, I gave up trying to sound like Emily Dickinson and simply told her how much we loved her.
And then there was Bill.
I spent a week intentionally complimenting him. Not because he had changed, but because I realized that I had stopped noticing all the things he did right. That may have been the most uncomfortable discovery of all. Somewhere along the way, I had become so good at noticing what was wrong that I was overlooking all the good things.
Does that sound familiar?
When I look back at these thirty-nine weeks, I realize that I started this project believing I was missing something and that I needed to add something to my life. Instead, I’ve been learning to appreciate the life I already have.
There are thirteen weeks left in my Expeditionvision. I have no idea what I’ll try next. I found my list of New Year’s resolutions. One of them was to have more fun. I think I’ll try that one.
This is part of what I’m calling Expeditionvision—my quest to find what a meaningful life looks like. One experiment per week: Possible strategies for a happier life. Trying things on purpose and paying attention to what happens. I’m not offering advice or giving instructions. I’m just sharing the way I did it. If there’s something that you’ve been wanting to try—but haven’t—I’d love to hear about it. I’m open to reader suggestions for future experiments.
I love these sentences: Maybe the goal wasn’t to find more things to do. Maybe it was to discover which things were worth doing. That is deep!! I am going to think on this….Thanks for sharing 💖