Empty Mess

Share this post

TWO MINUTES

www.newsletter.emptymess.com

TWO MINUTES

What Will You Do?

Stephanie Mason-Teague
Nov 19, 2022
2
Share this post

TWO MINUTES

www.newsletter.emptymess.com

Ready, Set, Go! The timer was counting down, and everyone knew what to do.

Two-Minute-Tidy was one of my favorite games to play with the kids when they were little. The challenge of cleaning for only two minutes made it fun, and I got some help without rolling eyes and complaints. And we really did get a lot done—kitchen table cleared, clothes put away, dishwasher emptied.

Empty Mess is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

As it turns out, there are a lot of things you can do in just two minutes, and I’ve attempted most of them. Everyone knows about brushing your teeth . . . and just to make sure, your toothbrush will beep to count it down. Thirty seconds for each quadrant: top left—beep—bottom right—beep—and so on. This routine is so rote that I added squats to maximize the time spent. It’s a fact, while brushing your teeth, you can complete 60 perfectly executed squats. My goal is to become a master at time blocking.

When we were quarantined for COVID, I created a color-coded chart to block off work time, exercise time, meal preparation time . . . even sleep time. Some people, like my husband, scoffed at my chart. To whom I pointed out how much I got done! Without my time-blocking chart, the hours would just run together.

Then I was hit with a double whammy. First, my wristwatch broke, or to be more accurate, all five of my watches broke. Not all at the same time. I dropped the first one on our terrazzo floor, cracking the crystal. The next two ran out of battery power, and then the bands broke on the other two.

Then we were hit by a hurricane, and the power went out. How do you time block if you don’t know what time it is? It’s always beautiful and sunny right before the storm. It’s surreal to be filling sandbags and moving everything that’s not bolted down into the house when it feels more like a day to go to the beach. Then the wind starts to pick up, the clouds and rain move in, and the power cuts off.

No power means no digital clocks. It takes a day or so to stop looking at the microwave, then the stove, and then the coffee pot to see what time it is. The next hours and days run together while we hold our breaths in eerie darkness. Every towel in the house is at the ready as we scan doors and windows for leaks.

And then it stops.

We emerge outdoors to once again be greeted with a

beautiful blue sky above and bright sunshine—and with no concept of what time it is, or even what day it is. Casting our gaze to ground level, the picture is not pretty. Branches and leaves litter the ground as far as the eye can see. Where do they all come from? I don’t have a time block on my chart for this. It’s exhausting just thinking about the cleanup that needs to be done. I’m pretty sure it can’t be done in two minutes.

I think I’ll just brush my teeth.

person holding pink electric toothbrush
Photo by Goby on Unsplash

Empty Mess is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Share this post

TWO MINUTES

www.newsletter.emptymess.com
Comments
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Stephanie Mason-Teague
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing