Hi, I’m Stephanie,
Empty Mess came about because I was not adjusting very well to my title of “Empty Nester”. The truth is, I just wasn’t prepared for how lonely I would feel.
Why didn’t anyone tell me this empty nest thing would be so hard? I had spent years pouring all my energy and attention into being the best mom on the planet, as if it were some kind of competition. And then suddenly the race was over, it was just me and my husband…ALL THE TIME! and I was struggling to find my purpose.
I knew I had to do something.
With a lot of laughter and a few tears, I wrote my stories down, and published my first 100 stories in my book Empty Mess: Rediscovering Life After Kids. They helped me remember the happy times, the crazy times … they got me laughing again, and most of all … they helped me move on.
My second 100 stories began a shift from “Who am I now” to “Who do I get to be”. I haven’t published my second book…yet.
In 2026 I’m starting something new, and calling it my Expeditionvision. I created this smashup word last year and announced it as “My Word of the Year.”
Well, I’m now ready to start.
Expeditionvision is simply one small experiment a week, tried on to see how it goes, and written about honestly. No mastery. No optimization. No advice. Just action, attention, and reflection.
Each week, I’ll try something related to the things I love … food, marriage, usefulness, joy, better health, forgotten lessons, the house, the garden … or the everyday things that make up my life after being Mom. Then, I’ll share my experiment with you.
“The Way I Did It.”
This phrasing matters to me. I’m not interested in telling anyone how to do anything. There’s no shortage of how-to content in this world. What I’m interested in is what it feels like to do something because you want to—to notice the hesitation, the resistance, and the small surprises that don’t show up until you try it.
If you’ve been reading here for a while, you know I’ve written about usefulness, competence, overthinking, marriage, and the quiet fear that creeps in from a lack of purpose. Expeditionvision isn’t a departure from those themes—it’s a way of moving through them instead of circling around and dwelling on them.
My hope is that you don’t think of it as “Here’s what you should do” but more as “Here’s what happened when I did this.”
Some weeks, the experiment will be tiny. Some weeks, it might feel oddly gargantuan. Sometimes I’ll learn something. Sometimes I won’t. That’s part of the point of it all. I’m not looking for tidy conclusions—just honest observations.
And I don’t want to do this alone.
If there’s something you’ve wanted to try but haven’t—something small, ordinary, or quietly intimidating—I’d love to hear about it. I can’t promise that I’ll try everything, but I’m open to reader suggestions as part of this experimental year. This feels like the right next step for me—not a reinvention but a continuation with action.
So, if you’re willing, come along. I’ll try something each week and let you know the way I did it.
A Year of Trying.
Welcome to my world of EmptyMess® – It’s Our Time to Shine!
Why subscribe?
You’ll Love Empty Mess if…
You’re married or in a relationship or have been married or in a relationship.
Your chicks have left the nest
You agree life is hard…and FUNNY!
I hope you’ll join me, and subscribe! Receive essays directly to your inbox or on the Substack App every Saturday morning.
Enjoy! xo, ~Stephanie
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